I need positive parenting skills!!

http://www.positive-parenting-for-life.com/parenting-tips.html

Need to read the above and fuel in some positive parenting tips as my parenting skills deteriorate as stress kicks in!!!
sighhh... its really difficult to be a good parents especially when the kid is not feeling well and is constantly demanding! crying for no reason (my isaac sometimes is like that, and recently is...)

Here is an exerpt:
Why it's Cool to Keep Your Cool

You've heard the phrase, "living up to expectations." We often relate this phrase to good or positive expectations that a child is excelling or achieving great things. However, this phrase also goes the other way. A child will live up to positive expectations or negative expectations alike.

Your child is living up to your expectations right now. What are you expecting of your child? What are you telling them in those moments when you are frustrated?

In exasperation, do phrases like "you're so aggravating" or "why are you so difficult?" or "why can't you ever do anything right?" or "you're such a trouble-maker," ever slip from your lips? Those phrases spoken in haste are labels that your child will begin to live up to, literally.

This is why it is so crucial that, as parents, we are able to keep our cool when the situation is tense. Once uttered, those words can never be taken back. A 'sorry' does little to neutralize the effects of hurtful words.

So, on those craziest of days when you are at your wits end and overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated - take a deep breath, check your perspective, get a little goofy, look at those adorable baby pictures, and count your blessings. You are raising the future of the world within those four walls of your home.

The awesome part about this is that it can be fun! And it should be fun! There is a reason they refer to the childhood years as magical. Seize those fleeting moments and enjoy that magic with your child.

Parenting can be one wild, exhilarating ride. So please take your seat, make sure your safety belt is securely fastened, keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle, and have a blast!

Bro n Sis

* hugsss huggss***

Isaac, sociable and friendly

Yes, he can just mix around and talk to anyone!!!
We always warn him about talking to strangers! But he talks anyway!
See how he happily mixes around during Owen's party.

Feeding time

I have never imagined a baby being so difficult in bottle-feeding her milk. When she totally refuses to drink, you can never force her! She usually drinks only 2-4 oz (yes, very little) but luckily she prefers breastfeeding. Err... then I would have to continue breastfeeding way past 9 mths now.
Also good that she loves to eat porridge. So, normally she eats twice a day for porridge, and 1 time fruit, about 3-4 times milk.

Night feed??? Hmmph, since she sleeps around 9-ish, she wakes about 4am for milk and back to bed till about 1-2 hrs gap till 7.30am, sharp awake!!

Baby Bash at Sean's place

Some pics taken by a hired photographer during Owen's birthday party.
Isaac was so independent there, playing and mixing around with everyone.
We all enjoyed ourselves, I guess I prefer house party when we have kids around. Its so much easier! :)

Great idea, Sean for the rental of the "lok-lok" and thanks for the pro pics taken by the photographer!

Merdeka!!! A place we call our own!

Gulp! I have been so busy... didn't have time to update about what's been happening to my family life! Bernard & myself has just confirmed to get our own place nearby at a good deal and good location, not to mention terrific view of the KLCC! hehehehe!!
Yes, we saw the place during Merdeka Day, 31st Aug 09 and confirmed immediately.
Its small and cosy, up on the 4th floor, but the unit is totally new and have been renovated! Thank God for this unit kept for us till we move in!
House warming will come once we have settled down properly... that will be next year i guess!

Wash, wash, wash my hands !

Wash, wash, wash my hands
Make them nice and clean
Rub the bottoms and the tops
And fingers in between

H1N1 & Breastfeeding

With the worsening situation of H1N1 in Malaysia, I am all the more determined to continue breastfeeding Amanda. It will give her the antibodies required, and I guess that is the best protection for my baby girl!

To those breastfeeding women out there, no matter how hard it may seem at the moment, the overall benefits proves over long term. "Ka- yau!!" (in Cantonese means Go! Go! Go!Continue on fervently!)

Milestones....

Let me describe Amanda:

Haven't learnt how to crawl, wanna sit up,
Haven't know how to sit properly, wanna stand up,
Haven't learnt how to stand, wanna walk,
Haven't know how to walk, wanna run!!!

Yes, she is running around in her walker at amazing speed!!

Penang Trip

Amanda is 8 m.o.! She is able to sit, but sometimes will still topple down! So, she's not really steady yet! We just came back from Penang yesterday and it was a really an experience for her maiden trip: she fell down from the bed... into my sports shoe!! Thank God that angels have protected her!! Gosh, we actually secured the bed with pillows except one small part of the bed, and she slipped through quietly! My sis-in-law shouted "Oh my God!!" as she saw Amanda's face landed on my sport shoes! She cried after we quickly picked her up and carried her, everybody was with a worried look inspecting her head especially. Poor gal!
She also had bad constipation on the first day there, trying to poop till she cried cos it was too hard to get the poop out! Poor daddy had to literally pull the shit out from her buttock while I carried her on my laps on the toilet bowl!

My boy...

Isaac's fav pastime is digging nose!

Some photos of Amanda (2 mths ago!)

Struggling to get up!!! She can't even crawl yet, but now she is learning to stand and doesn't wanna sit!

Mumm Mummmm.....

Here are some photos of her feeding time!

ouch!

Just got a jab for amanda, hep B. costs RM45 or was it RM55?
anyway, she just cried for a short while, then she was fine.

7th Month! Punctured teats, punctured appetite!!!

Now Amanda is 7 mths, and she just loves to grab anything that is reachable!
As for solids, (semi-solid of course) she loves apples! have been feeding her nestum and she eats rather quickly now!
Her milk intake is just about the same... hovering about 4 oz every 3 hrs... and sometimes she can just hold her appetite for 4 hrs. Still giving her breastmilk.

Recently she drank rather little milk cos of "teat confusion"! not mine, but the bottle teats which we changed from 2 holes to 4 holes, caused her grasping for breath when she drinks!! So, we switched back to the 2 holes teat, but she seems to be refusing to drink as well after a few gulps. My MIL was wondering what was wrong with her... checked her mouth...(looked ok), thought it was her stuffy nose causing it...

Poor gal didn't managed to drink much as it took us 3 days to figure it out cos when we used back the older teat with 2 holes, we later realised that teat was a punctured one!!! While the 4 holes was a huge jump for her!!!
Finally went to buy the 3 holes teat, and **phew** she can drink properly now.
If she could talk, she must be saying ***phew*** as well!!!

13/7/09- MIL mentioned that Amanda is still not drinking well... i wonder why???

Expression from Isaac Chin

"Daddy work HARDER, mummy work SOFTER"

"Today no need to go to Funcity hoh?"
"What day is today" Hoping he will answer 'Saturday'.
He replied, "Holiday".

"The tree all melting hoh?
See, all the tree melt worr"
He was pointing at those pine trees along the road.
The leaves indeed looks like it has melted!

"My stomach want to explode, pau- cha!"
when he is full!

Smell of heaven...

mmm.... smells really good....smells better than good! the smell is so hard to describe, but i will try to describe it anyway:

it is the smell of life, the smell of love and wonder...
it is the smell of delight! awe!
breathe in the smell of connection...
it is the smell of that special bond... the smell of "one-ness"
the smell of true home...
it is the smell of belonging...
the smell gets you addicted, makes you feel comfortable... estatic!

oh, it is the smell that wants you to rush home soon! and go to work late!!!
it is the smell of my baby Amanda!!!!
smells like HEAVEN!!!

(ahem! now, get back to work!!!)

The Blessing Song

The Lord Bless Thee
And keep thee
The Lord make His face shine upon thee
And be gracious unto Thee
And be gracious unto Thee
The Lord lift up His countenance
The Lord make His face shine upon thee

I try to sing this song as a daily prayer for my children. Especially now to Amanda as she goes to bed. I used to sing this song to Isaac too when he was younger and also throughout my both pregnancies.
Sometimes it is much easier to sing a prayer!

6 mths old -Routine

Here is the schedule of my 6m.o. daughter:

5am- first feed of the day (bf) and she continues sleeping
7am- wake up quietly... laying on the bed, playing by herself (another bf usually before i get to work)
8.30am- cat nap
9am- feed abt 5 oz
9.30am- bathing time
10am- cat nap again or perhaps a longer nap usually occur this time
12pm- 5oz feed
2pm- lunchtime (learning to eat semi solid food)
2.30pm- cat nap
3pm- 5oz feed
5pm- Wipe her clean
6pm- 5oz feed (sometimes she will just stop at 4oz, then it will be 2 hrs for her next feed) At this time, her 'koh-koh' will be back from kindi,
so she will be in the stroller in the garden
8pm- night feed before sleeping can range from 5oz-7oz
Sleep till about 4-5am.

That is her rough daily routine.

Gosh, so busy!

Yes, I think I have some latest pics not uploaded yet!
Here are some latest pics of Manda!

Roll n up!

Amanda can now roll and lift her neck up high.
She can also laugh out really loud and loves to see her brother making funny actions.
Isaac will be happily entertaining her to make her laugh.
Nowadays while we sit to have dinner, Amanda will call out loud and consistently as she wants to join in as well. So I have to hold her in one hand to support her sitting on my lap while making sure Isaac is eating his meals properly.

mOtiON SensoR...

Yes, I have a motion sensor right beside me in the bedroom.

Whenever I wake up early in the morning to do some things in the kitchen downstairs, my little Isaac can sense that I am not around!! He will actually look for me!!!
This morning, I woke up about 5.30am after breastfeeding Amanda... went to wash some things and prepare stuff to work, oh gosh, I heard someone coming down the stairs already! Bernard carrying Isaac walking downstairs. This happen nearly every morning when I try to do something outside the room! Really motion detector sleeping next to me. Poor fella really scared to be left without me.

Little Doodle

Yes, this doodle belongs to Isaac Chin last month.
Can you see what image he has drawn?

Mamamia milk!

How much milk is she drinking now?
She is feeding on total bm. I have still enough supply to meet her demand but on weekends, she can drink an extra 4 oz when I take care of her. So there is always either I have to work extra hard on certain days to make sure the fridge has 4 bottles full of milk before I get to work. When I return home, I will bring back another 2 bottles- about 5-6oz each, which sometimes she can drink another 4oz before sleep. Her drinking schedule is now about 3oz every 2 hrs, or sometimes up to 4oz in the morning. At night just before sleep, she can take up to 6oz!
Her drinking pattern varies throughout the day.

Stick like a leech

When I was young, I often overheard my mum telling other people that I stick to her like a leech. I remembered going to toilet whenever she goes to toilet...playing in the garden whenever she was doing some gardening, and disturbing her when she was resting on the bed!
Yes, I also remembered wearing my dad's t-shirt as a one-piece "gown" for me!

Now, when I go to the toilet, Iz will want to follow... when I sleep, he will follow and disturb me if he is not sleepy. For the past 3 mornings when I purposely woke up early to do more things at home before I head to work, Iz "discovered that I was gone" from the room and cried, "MAMA... I wan't MAMAAA!"

Arrghh! I have to stop doing my things in the kitchen and rush straight upstairs to make sure he stops crying before he wakes everyone up!

Well, this morning he woke up about 6am... and played till he fell down from the bed and cried AGAIN and his noise woke Amanda up at 6.30am....

Now, I have got a leech sticking to me till I get to work...

Losing hair

Hair everywhere, fine hair and thick strand of hairs... The fine one belongs to Amanda. Thicker strand of hair belongs to me! hahah... this is the 4th month where I thought only my hair would fall and not the baby. Isaac's hair was shaved the last time (during his full moon) and so I didn't think that baby's hair would shed during the 4th month as well, same time as mine!
Her fine hair tickles me especially when I feed or carry her. And it is sometimes annoying when I can't seem to sweep the very fine hair off my face!
Well, this is a new discovery for me!

How to deal with tantrums?

Article from Margaret Saunders

Initially tantrums are an emotional expression with the purpose of getting attention of the parent or caregiver. Then this gets a result.

So how do we control and moderate this behaviour? Changing the behaviour in babies and young children is all about motivation. And motivation can take two forms.

Positive motivation - that is encouragement, rewards and love.

Negative or fear motivation - that is threats of punishment or confiscating possessions.

Which method to use depends entirely on the child's age and the relationship with the carer and which one you are more comfortable with.

Here are several methods starting with a soft approach which we recommend, then followed by firmer alternatives.

1. The Firm Hug Method

When a child is in the midst of a tantrum, give them a firm loving hug. This requires the parent or carer to be in full emotional control. It could be argued that holding a wriggling screaming child may or may not be practical, but this method works very well in some cases. And is not so embarrassing if you are in a public place, such as a supermarket.

2. The Ignore Or Divert Method

This does sound like a contradiction but please read on. A tantrum is designed to get your attention. If you just keep on going and totally ignore that the tantrum is happening, it sends the clear message to the toddler that his actions are having NO EFFECT AT ALL. That may work by itself, but the method is made a lot more powerful by diverting the child's attention to something totally unrelated.

For example: in a shop, a toddler may tantrum to get a toy or snack etc, so you just ignore the fireworks and perhaps drop a coin and suggest a search, or urgently suggest to find a particular shopping item.

3. The Star Chart Method

This is our favourite. Create a chart with about twenty or thirty stars or dots on it. Cover the chart with clear laminate. Then use a whiteboard marker to colour stars for good behaviour. With your toddler's input decide on some reasonable rewards. They don't have to cost money ... A Trip to their favourite park, playing with friends, a small $ reward (which can also be used to introduce concepts of saving money and investing in a bank account i.e.: spend half and save half). If you spend a bit of time building up the reward in your toddlers mind, you be amazed how powerful this system can be. (Also could use a blackboard and chalk for your chart if this is easier for you.)

4. The Quiet Corner Method:

Decide on a location in your home and name it the quiet corner. You may want to place a chair in the location and call it the thinking chair (for older toddlers). I really don't like to name items the naughty corner or the naughty chair or any other negative description. Here we want to focus on the positive. When your baby or toddler has misbehaved they are either placed or sent to this location for a few minutes, allowing the situation to calm down and diffuse. If the child refuses to stay, always send them back. If they are extremely persistent, you might have to consider another method. But this system can work, and its very boring for a child to be facing a wall.

And it doesn't hurt if your child is old enough to ask for either an apology or ask how they could behave differently next time.

5. Smacking:

From our point of view this is not an option. If you have found yourself smacking your child please review our options for alternatives. The long term damage to a child caused by smacking is enormous. If you feel you need help from a professional to either curb your own behaviour or that of your child please, please seek help. If need be please call us so that we can point you in the right direction or offer you our support and ideas and positive encouragement.

And please, remember, that whichever of these methods works for you whenever you carry out a toddler taming solution always keep your heart open. You cannot love your child too much. Always reward and praise your child whenever they do the "right thing", and always tell them how much you love them, over and over again.

Some things can wait....

"When my little one is having a hard time, I drop everything — no dishes, no laundry, no nothin' — and just cuddle, play, read, whatever makes him happy. Sure, the house is a wreck, but the house can wait; my son can't." — Kara

I guess its really true... to be patient especially when Iz is not feeling well.
I have to let go of doing other house chores to cater to his needs, sacrifice my sleep/nap, yup, whatever to make him happy and make sure he gets well soon. Also, I need to work around the breastfeeding time to make sure I also pump out my milk on time. Yes, there are so many things to do with 2 kids around. However, staying with my in-laws makes things a bit difficult as they would think that I am doing things "half-way" and leaving mess around! In my mind, I will clear that LAATTERR.... and most of the time I won't forget about it (unless Bernard is handling it!). I will always attend to my child first... and stop worrying or fearing about what others think about me. Sometimes, I can tell them that I will clear it later, but I can't mention it all the time about little things!

I have learnt that I cannot live under other people's expectations all the time. To be a good parent, I will stand up on my own opinions, my own maternal instinct, and the greatest of all is to make sure my motive is based on LOVE. There is no manual for bringing up a child perfectly, nor a troubleshooting method for each circumstances, as every individual is unique. Just to bring up a child in a loving environment is my aim as a parent. PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR.

3 mths old pic...

Fruit of the day...

Just a thought about fruits... I mean it is important for me to try TRY to have at least a fruit per day. And there has been some hype recently about fruits enzyme, making me want to make my own fruit enzyme (dragon fruit sounds interesting), but I still don't have the know-how and time yet! And well, today, as I read the scripture, I was reminded about the more important fruit for the soul!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control... -Gal 5:22

As a parent, it is important for me to set a good example and sometimes, because of work-stress, fatigue; I just lack direction and get really impatient, rough, and lack of self-control towards my kid.
Yes, I guess I need to "chew" on this verse as I chew on my apple that I brought to work today.

Lord, help me to bear the fruit of the Spirit that my children will see Your goodness through me. Also, forgive me for neglecting this spiritual fruit. Amen.

4 months....

4 months of breastfeeding! I wonder how long can I commit to this awesome task!
It is an awesome commitment...

It is a joy!
-especially at night where you don't have to get up and make milk in a hurry, make sure it is the right temperature and right amount, feed her properly, burp her, then wash up the bottle!
- when baby just drink and look satisfied when full :)
- you don't have to worry about which brand is the best in the market cos nothing beats breast milk! Proud to be giving the best milk in the world!
- when baby knows how to latch properly and suck well directly. (I didn't bf Isaac directly, so the feeling is a bit different actually. But eventually, he still fed on bm till 6.5mths old)


It is a wonder!
- that God has provided everything good in one source of food! Formula milk doesn't have any antibodies and is a far duplication of mother's milk! BM already contained all the source of DHA, AA... whatever A lah!
- that the breast milk content changes over time to suit the baby's need! Incredible!
- Supply = Demand ! nothing to worry that it is not enough!


It is a commitment!
-especially when you are outside shopping... or getting a haircut... whatever it is you need to do outside, you have to think of how long it takes cos you need to get the milk out on time!

Breastfeeding website

"Are we old yet?"

I forwarded an e-mail to my dad recently about some jokes regarding "Are we old yet?".
I didn't expect any reply cos it was just a forwarded email with jokes.
His unexpected reply was:
"no not yet. old is when u stop working"

so, i paused and think... I felt like a guilty mother again going to work this morning, leaving my son crying in front of my car! When the time comes for me to stop working, then I will instead appreciate the time to work!

Anyway, I am still glad that my parents are working! I just hope my son will grow up soon to stop crying every morning when I leave to work.

Amanda is teething!

Yup! Pretty early as she is just approaching 4 months!
Two bottom teeth coming out as we can see the white layer just beneath her gums.
It is true that before teething, she has those "pearly" stools (chinese say its called "nga-see" or teeth-shit! hahha)
She is also drooling, and putting her whole fist into her mouth!!

Bro n Sis!

Here is the latest pic taken last Sunday at home.
Isaac was acting like a baby, he was babbling away, " nyeeeh nyeeh, nyeeh nyeeeh".

Cutting grass

Isaac's Sunday activity- followed his ta-ta to cut grass! It was a cloudy day and good to keep in touch with nature.













The sweat is making him itch! Look at the big scissors!

To squat or not?

One evening,we were out having dinner in a restaurant in Balakong, not a fancy restaurant, just a non-air con one. Then after finishing his dinner, Iz wanted to pass motion. So we brought him to the toilet (a very Malaysian toilet!) and it was the squatting type. Bernard brought him there, asked him to remove his pants and squat. Guess what?? He doesn't know how to squat and shit!
He was reluctant to go near the bowl! The floor was wet, and it looked slippery to me!
Iz has not used this type of toilet before, nor squat to pass motion before!
So we just decided to quickly pay the bill and rush home instead.
When we reached home about 10 mins later, his urge has also gone!

Isaac Sleep Spell!

How to get Iz to sleep early? I have calculated his total sleep hours and it isn't enough for a boy his age cos he sleeps around 11pm and have to wake up around 7.30am for his kindi. His afternoon nap is around 2-4pm in Funcity.
I usually bring him up to bed around 9.30-10pm, after his milktime in front of the tv... but he will play around on the bed lah... talk and talk by himself lahh...while i would have just fallen asleep already! Sometimes he would sleep around 11pm, it means it takes around 1 hour for him to settle down!

NOW, i have managed to "negotiate" with him to sleep early! Here is how the negotiation goes:

"Isaac, if u sleep early, then u can wake up early and see mommy!"
"...if u wake up late, then mommy have to go to work already, then nobody is upstairs!"

SO, OK! I hope it works!!! of course when he gets up early, I will praise him and say:
"See, u wake up early, and mommy is still here lo!"
Both will then be happily smiling!

My next task is to make sure he doesn't always cry when he wakes up, which he doesn't when he sees me around, and I have to "pau-pau" him....

Bonding with your baby

Baby - Bonding With Your Baby
By Margaret Saunders


Not all parents bond instantly with their babies. That feeling that you want to hold and love and protect your bay is instinctive. But bonding is a little more than that. Bonding is about developing a bond between a baby and their primary carers. Both Mum and Dad will likely develop this special bond. Babies who develop strong relationships with their parents are much more likely to perform better at school, grow into secure well-adjusted adults and have much higher self esteem and confidence levels. Bonding is a natural process but there are some ways you can help out.

Touch:
A baby's first communication is via touch, so hold your baby close, allow them to lay on your tummy as you lie on your bed or a comfy sofa. Or you could carry your baby in a sling and get on with your work and day.

Eye Contact:
Always look at your baby's face and eyes as you talk to them. This shows them that you are completely focussed on them as you are talking. Use vivid facial expressions. Your baby will then learn the subtle facial expressions that make up 80% of our communication.

Massage:
Massage is one of the most relaxing and pleasurable ways of touching your baby and a way of promoting physical and mental growth as well as a strong parent-baby bond. Studies have shown that Baby Massage helps circulation and can help your baby's intellectual development as well. Some very young babies shy away from excessive contact. Just do what you can and if they protest try again another day.

Singing:
No matter if you can sing or not, your baby will not judge you. They just love the sound of your calm serenading voice. Popular nursery rhymes and children's songs often have a rhythm that is enjoyed by most babies. By singing and talking to your baby a lot, over time they will naturally learn the language as well. And this is a great way of soothing your baby and helping them to fall asleep.

Talk:
Talk, talk, talk! Just tell your baby about everything you are doing. Chores may seem a chore for you, but for baby EVERYTHING is new and very exciting. Although your baby may not understand what you are saying your baby will love to hear you chatting away about what you are doing, whether it is changing her nappy, or whatever. Baby will gain confidence from the fact that you are always near, even if the household chores need to be done. Tell them that you love them many times every day. Hugs and kisses are also so very popular with older babies. Just watch those lovely smiles light up their faces when you do this.

Bath Time:
This is a great bonding time for many babies. Most babies love the feeling of being immersed in lovely warm water and being gently washed all over. For the more unsettled bathers, you can try calmly singing to them to stay calm. Bath time relaxation and bonding can also form a great part of your bay sleep routine.

Slow Down
Life is getting faster and faster, but slow and steady is best for baby. Stop and spend time with your baby. Relax and enjoy yourself. Babies are the most forgiving little beings on earth. Your baby will love you no matter what. Whatever you do, stay relaxed and enjoy the experience Be assured in the knowledge that you are doing a great job as a parent. A wise person once stated, "The best you can do, is the best you can do, and that is enough."


Margaret Saunders is an enthusiastic mom of two and is a parent expert and specialist. Her website http://www.BedtimeAndToiletTrainingSolutions.com.au/BabySleepsNow offers solutions on how to get your baby to sleep and other baby issues. Her Free E-Book "Baby Massage - The gift of love" is jam packed with tips and techniques for giving your baby a massage and other baby and toddler resources. Subscribe for FREE http://www.BedtimeAndToiletTrainingSolutions.com.au/BabySleepsNow.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_Saunders
http://EzineArticles.com/?Baby---Bonding-With-Your-Baby&id=2099834

Chinese Confinement Do's & Don'ts...

1. Do breasfeed your bb
Its the best you can give, really!

2. Do eat more fruits & vege
Not the cooling type like papaya, apples, grapes, pumpkin & banana
No watermelons, or cabbages...

3. Do keep warm
Dress like an eskimo! hahah... get your feet covered, maybe your head if you think there is wind blowing around you.
But don't overdress in case you get heat stroke worr...

4. Do drink boiled water with red dates
This is my favourite drink, and if I have the time, I will still boil it to drink!
It helps to dispel wind and promote blood circulation, help in promoting appetite and thirst.

5. Do rest well
Yes, just lie down straight and don't do anything whenever possible. It helps to rest your spine and promotes healing. I didn't rest well, and that was why I was still having lochia discharge till 2 mths! Imagine having period for such a long time, and it was playing hide-n-seek with me!

6. DON'T take too much ginger or overeat
Being overweight is not my problem cos I was breastfeeding and I needed the extra calories! But too much ginger they say will contribute to the baby having jaundice if you breastfeed worr...
Also, if you had a ceasarean, then the wound wouldn't heal nicely if you had too much ginger.

7. DON'T stand up eating or drinking
...or even lying down immediately, cos i thought i heard the water which i drank running around in my "loose tummy". They say that after childbirth, the organs have not yet resumed its original position and are still in a relaxation state.

8. DON'T be exposed to extreme cold
During my second post-pregnancy, I was more aware of the cold wind around and realised that the air-con cool air was better than getting the fan blowing.
There is no wind coming from the air-con,(make sure the fan speed was low), just cooling made it easier for me to rest without sweating like a pig.


9. DON'T wash your hair for... XXXX days
xxx depends on your ability to withstand the oil on your head! I actually waited for about 30 days!!! and after that, I got natural hair wax on my head!
The reason behind it is that the pores are still open and can cause "wind" to get into your body. This may result in bad headache later on... well, time will prove it!

10. DON'T bathe???
Can wipe with warm boiled water with herbs, and wipe dry immediately, then cover up the area to prevent wind from entering your open pores!
So I actually didn't shower, only wiped everyday with boiled herbal water.

11. DON'T carry heavy things...
that also means no "pau-pau" for isaac! he is about 12 kgs! and I purposely showed him my wounded abdomen to say that I can't carry him cos it is painful for me.
Also I explained that the doctor had to cut open my stomach to take "mei-mei" out, just like how they took him out last time. Only when i am well, then i can carry him.
Also, I can't carry as my stitches are recovering and my uterus have to return to its place properly.

12. DON'T read??
My mom-in-law said that reading will actually spoil your eyes! hmmm... i think it is because we tend to look very near at the baby, and continuously looking near like reading (books/ computer/tv)will cause our eyes to be tired, and short-sighted.
Let the eyes rest... unless u have a solid reason to read to get your mind right on track! read no. 13.

13. DON'T think negative thoughts!
aha... yes, our very powerful mind and thoughts will disturb you at times of confinement due to various reasons! for me it was because i wanted so badly to have a natural birth, but ended up having ceasarean again! it took me some time to get my mind back on track, and reading really helped me feel better. Overall, we must invite good thoughts and stop thinking about the bad ones.
Talk to others if u need.

no more twitches

It was few days after amanda's birth that I noticed that her hands and legs would twitch, especially when she was drowsy and falling asleep. It would last from few seconds to 20 seconds the most (if you allow it by not adjusting to a more comfortable position).

I was so worried about it cos I haven't seen such things happening to my firstborn, Isaac or even to other people's baby. Why Amanda has it???

All I could do was to read about topics related to spasms, twitching... and even about infantile spasm (which scares me!). Consulted our local ped and he said that it should go off, latest in the 6th month. By then if it doesn't, we would need to send her to the hospital for observation! goshh... they have those wires connected to the poor baby here and there to confirm that it is not epileptic. Over the internet, there were some articles that say it happens because of lack of oxygen during delivery, resulting in the nervous system still not fully developed yet. In fact, a type of reflex called the moro reflex, whereby the baby would lift her 2 arms wide in shock, would actually help to build her nervous system. Therefore, we shouldn't be alarmed at the baby having the moro reflex and try to prevent it like constantly swaddling her or putting a rice bag on her tummy to make her "feel safe".
Interesting to find out about baby reflexes! It actually helps them!

The only solution is actually to PRAY really hard that it would go off, cos time would only tell if it is a serious problem or if it gets serious. I really thank God that now, Amanda is 3mths and it has gone off! it did! Praise God for hearing my prayers...
God is always there listening... we just need to sit down and pray....

WM guilt...

yes, i am a working mum guilty of not having enough time to take care of my kids.
i took leave (emergency one!) last friday cos i felt like taking care of Amanda as my MIL was saying that Amanda didn't really sleep during the day time and yes, my MIL looked exhausted.
ok, so it was a raining friday... i woke up late, and dragged my feet to drive to work, but when i saw the traffic jam just outside my road, i headed home again and SMS my bosses that i need to take leave!! (sshhh...)

i am feeling guilty of not having enough time to take care of my own kids cos everytime i look at my son, isaac, now 3.3yrs old, underweight and slightly underheight as well... gosh! he has been 12kg since a year or 2 years already (i can't remember as it has been a looooong time).

of course as a mother, who wants the best for her kids... hmmm... wonders what is the problem that he is not really growing as he should be (for now)??

Possible reasons:
1. He has been falling sick quite often, maybe abt 2 mths once on average, and will lose appetite
2. Don't eat much in Funcity... they say he eats slow but finishes
3. Not enough time to feed him esp for breakfast
4. Not enough sleep (go to bed at 10.30, wakeup at 7.30= 9 hrs + 1.5 hrs nap= 10.5, it should be around 12 hrs for his age worrr....)
5. got worm in stomach??

The part i feel guilty is where i have to rush to work and have no time to accompany him for breakfast!! poor fella..., i have to send him to Funcity as my MIL cant handle him....

IF i have the chance, i would just take care of him for at least a month to "pump" him up. I remembered the days where i was on leave for about 5 days and was happily eating with him nearly around the clock. He is not a big eater and will eat around the clock actually.
I just hopes he grows faster to catch up what he has been missing...

Dear God,

Please help Isaac to grow into a strong and healthy boy. Prevent him from falling sick so often. Help him to have a good and healthy habit and appetite. I just don't know what I can do, please teach me what to do...
Help me to be patient with him
and to show him love that he can understand, not what money can buy.

Only in Jesus name i pray, Amen.

"i am happee...

.... because you love me!"

wahhh.... my heart melted when Isaac mentioned that just before sleeping last night.
And he continued:

"I like you... because you are pretty"

wahhhhhhhhhh...... my heart lagi melt!!! and my husband laughed at his "buaya" remarks!

"See, your son can talk better than you!" that was what I told Bernard!

It really made me happy to hear that coming from my 3 year old Isaac.
and now "i am happee...

...because knows how to "buaya" me!" kekekkeke.....

FAMILY

F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.He said, "Please excuse me too;I wasn't watching for you.
"We were very polite, this stranger and I.We went on our way and we said goodbye..

But at home a different story is told,How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down."Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,God's still small voice came to me and said,"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said."Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree. I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway.

" I said, "Son, I love you too,and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the companythat we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the lossfor the rest of their lives.And come to think of it, we pour ourselves moreinto work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

My dear Amanda is coughing with plegms

She got it from her brother. Now I pray that the healing hands of God will be upon her to heal her completely. Lord, please clear her plegms, heal her throat, and remove the flu virus from her.
I also pray for Isaac, as he is still coughing. Please heal him as well.
Thank you Lord for bringing back his appetite. May both of them continue to eat well and grow into healthy kids. Strengthen their immune system and protect them against any danger!
Amen.

Lord, please heal Amanda

I pray that the Lord Jesus will heal Amanda Chin from her muscle spasms that are still recurring when she is about to sleep. Though this doesn't happen every time, it does happen when there is a change of temperature surrounding (like moving from the car to a restaurant), or when we are carrying her while she is getting drowsy. It does make me worry! I just hope and pray that this will go off soon, cos if it doesn't go off by 4-6mths, then we have to seek further medical help.
Only the Sovereign Lord is able to heal her... Please heal her from her muscle twitching, only in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Year 2009

The year 2009 for me has just started cos I had just started work after my 2 mth maternity leave since last Dec 08.
Now Isaac is already 3 years old, Amanda is just 2 mths old! I am glad to have 2 kids now.
Back to work, and I'm slowly catching up all the job functions which has been previously taken up by my other colleagues...
Now as I start work, I pray that God will grant strength & patience to my MIL so that she will be able to take care of Isaac and baby Amanda.
I also pray that I will be able to adjust back to work properly.